dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
