maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
