He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
