after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
