I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
