I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
