i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Will you blow on my dice?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
