I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize