This house was built for laser tag.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
