I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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