It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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