he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
