Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
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Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
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I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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