I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize