She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
