puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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