I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
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It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
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I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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