i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
