cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
