where am i from again
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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