My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
