um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
i am craving dick and cupcakes
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
