I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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