His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just want to make out with him forever
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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