Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
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