Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
