But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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