Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize