Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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