You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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