So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
