So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
