I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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