I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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