Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
