I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
