Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
