I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize