Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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