We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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