Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
