he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
