She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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