The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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