whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
