That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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