I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
