If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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