You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
