I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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