Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm like, not good at living.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
