Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
