Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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