Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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