Soap is not a condiment
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
