So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
