i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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