They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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