people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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