her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
