Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
bring money and cleavage
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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