I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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