I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize