They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
